It’s a dominant theme and we are all in its recovery, including me.
People who have been traumatized, which is most of us at this point whether we realize it or not, need to take our time and to slow down the decision and acceptance process to make the right choice. Baby steps!
We need to remind ourselves that saying, ‘no’, is really ok as the pattern of ‘people pleasing’ is very much heightened in our current traumatized culture. There are a couple of generations who are simply generating from the hamster wheel. They are addicted to the flow and being in the flow. But the flow is just the hamster wheel. It is not LIFE! Once you see it, you realize it doesn’t make sense… And this is an incredibly empowering place to be.
Slow down. Take your time. Check in with the agenda. Don’t assume that there is fit. Be honest. Be real. A ‘yes’ is as good as a no. And a ‘no’ is as good as a yes. Gradually, we see that ‘no’ is not negative and ‘yes’ may not necessarily be positive.
Not all people will speak up. Fight, flight, freeze and faun are still playing out in our lives.
When someone approaches me for facilitation or coaching, I slow things down and let them really check me out, ask questions (even hard questions) and encourage them to really think on and sleep on the decision to work with me. Is this a fit? Is it a fit for both of us? Which questions do you need to ask that you have yet to asked? Do not assume or presume that something or someone is a good fit.
I always give people the out. You have my blessings and love at all junctures because I trust that you know what’s best for you! ~ Patricia xo